*本书被选为Evening Standard以及iNewspaperd的夏季选书！
Heartbreaking, beautifully written-- The Times
A delicate and engaging story of love and grief... honest and really beautifully written --Cathy Rentzenbrink
作者Xanthi Barker的父亲Sebastian曾经是一位成功（如果可以这样形容）但无名的诗人。父亲对于Xanthi的影响非常大，经常大规模的展示或证明对女儿的爱，也会请女儿帮忙修改他的诗。当他的注意力在Xanthi身上时，Xanthi感觉自己是宇宙的正中心。但是在同时，她父亲也是一个经常让她失望的人物。他在Xanthi还是婴儿的时候就抛弃她们母女去追逐自己的梦想，从来不是一位可靠的父亲。他同时也酗酒，当Xanthi才25岁的时候就去世。她为什么为了这个大半生都不在她身边扮演他该扮演的父亲角色这么心痛呢？
这个男人能在希腊的时候帮一个家庭盖一座房子、他能亲手刻出一个木马、可以写出无数篇诗、画出无数幅画、写出无数封信。他充满爱心，但同时不能被依赖。他从不出现在学校见老师，甚至不能想象他有办法在晚上六点之后清醒的接他的电话。他不停地离开女儿，但每一次都会回来，所以这次他真的走了，女儿应该怎么感受？
这本书是作者试图消化失去父亲的复杂以及冲突的情绪。她必须接受父亲多面化的个性，而这个过程是令人着迷的。 作者的文笔充满诗意以及紧急性—她在时间空间里来回叙述，从父亲的历史到童年的回忆再到现在的悲伤。这是一本优美、令人心疼的回忆录，任何失去过最爱的人都能在书中找到共鸣或安慰。任何人都需要接受自己的父母亲有一天会比我们早离开，这种悲伤或许违反逻辑，但我们必须学会看到并接受他们的缺点，在他们离开的时候放手让他们走。
关于作者：
Xanthi Barker出生于伦敦。她的文学短篇在许多杂志、选集出版，也入围过the Fish Prize。她在2017年获得Short Story Prize，而她的短篇One Thing由Open Pen出版。这是她的第一本书。
好评：
I loved this delicate and engaging story of love and grief so much that it made me wish I was still a bookseller so I could press it into the hands of all my customers... It's so honest and beautifully written -- Cathy Rentzenbrink, author of THE LAST ACT OF LOVE
Heartbreaking... beautifully written ― The Times
This book counts the true cost of having a writer in the family. Meticulously, Xanthi Barker traces the fault lines of her fractured relationship with her father back through his own marriage, all the way to her grandparents' union: the original, generative source of their poetry and pain. This is a fearless debut: potent and intensely moving -- Tabitha Lasley, author of SEA STATE
It felt such a privilege to read this book. Raw, devastating, beautifully formed. Let's keep our eye on Barker -- Daisy Johnson
Barker's attempt to triangulate a void is haunting. Yet even from the depths her memories glow with life, the writing gleams with precision -- Rhik Samadder, author of I NEVER SAID I LOVED YOU
'Nuanced, moving and absorbing... open, youthful and uncensored... extraordinary ― Observer
The story of a relationship defined by departures... arresting and beautifully written ― The Bookseller (Editor's Choice, June)
Conveys brilliantly the maddening experience of loving someone who is absent when present and present when absent... I was drawn in by her intense prose. A great new talent -- Jill Hopper, author of THE MAHOGANY POD
[An] eloquent, moving memoir ― Stylist
Wonderful - an elegy of sorts, yet wholly fresh and unsentimental -- Sarah Baume
A radiant book. I missed Xanthi Barker's wise, perceptive voice the moment I finished it. Vivid, evocative and addictive, without losing any of its meditative grace -- Francesca Reece, author of VOYEUR
As well as offering a powerful evocation of loss, it is also wonderfully funny, brilliantly astute in its observation of everyday life, and beautifully written ― Litro
Beautifully explores Barker's relationship with her father... and the experience of losing an 'eccentric, charismatic' man ― Image
An extraordinary book, searingly personal, and unflinching in the way it deals with tricky emotional terrain.... Truly one to treasure ― Culturefly